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How to Protect Your Home from the Zombie Apocalypse

Just because the Mayan prediction for the end of the world never came to pass before Christmas, it does not mean that at some point we won’t have to deal with some other terrible catastrophe.  So if you find yourself lying awake at night wondering how you will cope in the event of a zombie apocalypse, don’t panic because there are lots of methods that you can use to protect your family!

What is a Zombie Anyway?

In the event of a zombie apocalypse, you probably won’t have a problem working out which members of your community have turned into the un-dead since they will have certain ‘difficult to miss’ characteristics, including:

·         Vacant eyes

·         A slow, shuffling gait

·         Possibly a few missing limbs

·         An unhealthy grey pallor

·         Splattered in blood and gore, particularly around the mouth

How Can I Protect My Family From a Zombie Apocalypse?

When armies of the un-dead are swarming across your neighbourhood, it is better to make a stand and fight it out, and as long as your home is well protected and well stocked with essentials such as food and water, it will be the safest place to stay.  However, in order to prevent you from becoming zombie meatballs, your home will need a certain number of security features in place, so even if you have already considered home alarm systems, you might want to add a few extras.

Security Essentials for Keeping Out the Undead

·         Strong external doors – Zombies are not very bright, but they are strong, and when they are hungry, they will do anything to get to the food (you), so you will need to reinforce all exit doors.

·         Window grills or shutters – Metal security shutters are the best way of preventing hoards of ravenous zombies from trying to force entry into your property; keep them out and keep your family safe.

·         Weapons arsenal – Zombies are not easy to kill since they are immune to pain, but a good head shot will take them out.  With this in mind, keep a store of high calibre guns and plenty of ammunition inside your property, and do some target practice before the un-dead army rises from their graves.

·         Land mines – Once you know the zombie apocalypse is imminent, bury lots of explosive devices around the perimeter of your property.  Just don’t forget they are there when you head out for a stroll one fine summer’s evening or you could find yourself minus a leg or two.

·         Escape tunnels – Should you find yourself under siege from hundreds of zombies, no matter how safe you are inside your property, at some point you may wish to leave and find shelter elsewhere.  Obviously leaving by the front door will be a bit difficult unless you have a flame thrower or grenade launcher handy, so it is a good idea to have a couple of escape tunnels ready and waiting.

·         A freezer full of body parts – As we have already mentioned, zombies are not the brightest bulbs in the box, so it isn’t difficult to distract them if you need an escape route.  Keeping a few spare limbs in the freezer should do the trick – toss one or two out amongst the hordes and while the zombies are fighting over them, you can duck out the back door and into a waiting vehicle.

·         Cans of flammable liquid – You are going to need petrol and diesel for vehicles and power generators, but in an emergency, decant some off into bottles or cans to make a handy Molotov cocktail, then light and throw.  Just make sure the zombies aren’t standing on your front porch at the time or your house might suffer some collateral damage.

Is the Zombie Apocalypse for Real?

Who knows what is around the corner?  With a bit of luck the zombie apocalypse will remain a figment of your nightmares, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared for the worst eventuality just in case.  So for now, consider installing a home alarm system to keep your home safe from regular intruders, but make sure you are prepared for every eventuality just in case the zombie apocalypse does happen at some point in the future.


1 Comment
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