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Hedgehogs Can’t Share

Hedgehogs: Why can’t they just share the hedge? who knew hedgehogs were so greedy

Fun fact: you can tell how fast a hedgehog can run by looking at the color of their back.

Q: What do you call an hedgehog with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

I could go on and on with terrible hedgehog jokes, but I won’t put you through the prickly situation

beware, if you must, the hedgehogs joke continue below:

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Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog? A: A six-foot toothbrush.

Q: What’s the difference between a police car and a hedgehog? A: A hedgehog has its pricks on the outside. What did the bird say to the hedgehog? “Ya prick!”

Q: How do hedgehogs make love? A: Very, very carefully!

Q: Why couldn’t the hedgehog wash his hair? A: Because he’d left his head and shoulders on the road.

Q: What do you call an hedgehog with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Q: What did the grape say when the hedgehog stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: When does a hedgehog go “moo”? A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: What do you call a hedgehog that can pick up an elephant ? A: Sir!

Q: Who’s faster, Sonic the hedgehog or a Japanese bullet train? A: A bullet train of course, Sonic doesn’t actually exist.

Q: What is a hedgehog’s favorite flavour of chips? A: Prickled Onion!

Q: Why did the hedgehog cross the road? A: To see his flat mate!

Q: What do you call a hedgehog with hot lips? A: Sonic the Hedge-Snog.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bush and a pig? A: A hedgehog!

Q: What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a hedgehog? A: The pricks are on the outside on a porcupine!

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a hedgehog walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the hedgehog’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the hedgehog. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Nasty Little Boy

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a hedgehog in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

African Hedgehog

“What’s the difference between the United States hedgehog and the African hedgehog,” the society matron asked the zookeeper. “The principal difference is the United States species has a longer prick.” This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager’s office. The zoo manager said, “Ma’am, I apologize for my staff’s unfortunate choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the United States species has a longer ‘quill’. In fact, their pricks are just about the same size.”

Night of Drinking

A man and his pet hedgehog walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my hedgehog.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the hedgehog falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a hedgehog.”

Movies

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a hedgehog sitting next to him. “Are you a hedgehog?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The hedgehog replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

Front Seat

A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a hedgehog in the front seat. “What are you doing with that hedgehog?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the hedgehog again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that hedgehog to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

Hedgehogs: why don't they share the hedge

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